Moving into student accommodation means you’ll be living with people you’ve never met before, from a variety of backgrounds, who might be very different to you. Hopefully you’ll get on just fine with all of your flatmates, but there’s no guarantee that everybody will get along. For the most part, you should be able to rise above it and accept that you can’t be friends with everyone – but if you are struggling, here’s our advice…
Remember – you don’t need to be besties with everyone
It’s a common misconception that your flatmates will automatically become your best friends. It’s great when it happens, as what could be better than living with your favourite people?! But realistically, you’ll have completely different interests, lifestyles and personalities. That’s what makes the world go round, after all. You don’t need to spend all your free time together, or become super close, in order to have a positive living environment. Remember to be polite, respectful and considerate – this can definitely be enough.
Talk about what’s bothering you
Don’t suffer in silence. If one of your flatmates is doing something that’s really getting on your nerves, or something that becomes a genuine issue for the rest of you (like never washing their dishes, or leaving doors unlocked) then it’s important to chat to them about it before things get out of hand.
Choose a calm moment to bring it up – not when they’re rushing out the door to a lecture or they’ve just got back from a night out. And not when you’re really feeling frustrated, either! Explain the problem, suggest a solution if possible, and just let them know how you’re feeling. Nine times out of ten this is enough to sort things out.
Agree on some ‘house rules’
We’ve talked about this before, but it’s important to come to an agreement on expectations for any shared areas of your student accommodation. This can really help if you’re not getting on with your flatmates, as it means despite your differences everyone can agree on some responsibilities to make things easier.
This includes things like a rota for taking the rubbish out, an agreed cut off time for loud music, having friends round and so on! If everyone sits down together and comes to an arrangement, this should hopefully prevent issues from creeping in. And if things do get tricky, you can remind your flatmates that everybody agreed to these ‘rules’. Try to be a bit flexible, though…
Give each other some space
Everybody needs personal space, and students especially. It can be a very intense transition, especially compared to your family home. It’s perfectly normal to crave some time binge watching your favourite TV series for the fifth time, completely alone in your room. And it’s normal for your flatmates to want to do the same! Don’t be offended by those who prefer quiet nights in to buzzing nights out. And if you need a break from your flat, go for a walk, go to the gym, or take yourself to the library for a while. It’s perfectly reasonable to feel overwhelmed by sharing a relatively small space with multiple other people.
Seek help if need be
There are some issues between flatmates that can’t be sorted out with a quick chat, and in these circumstances it’s important to speak to your accommodation team or your university support services. From mediating disagreements to offering solutions and helping you explore available options, they’ll be able to support you through this.
Remember, these people were strangers before you moved in together. It’s perfectly natural to not get along with everybody, and you should focus on respect and communication as you navigate your first time living in student accommodation. If you’re not getting along with your flatmates, hopefully these tips will help.
